Dr.Greenfield my comments to the family system theroy may work along the lines discussed today for some families but not mine. I come from a family of four and I'm the "baby" but I feel like the oldest. My father always tells me,"I don't worry about you as much as I do the others cause you are so indepentent." On the other hand I fill as though I'm over looked alot because of the way he feels. Maybe thats why have have that tough skin because I carry alot of other people weight and sometimes I need a listening ear or maybe advise.
I'm an only child, so I'm not quite sure where I fit in on the Family Systems Theory. I feel like I've been each type in some ways. I compared the theory to each of my parents and their siblings and found it amazingly accurate.
As far as the family systems theory I am also an only child like Journey however I have three oloder step sisters due the fact that my mother is remarried and I have three younger half sisters on my fathers side. So you can say that I am the oldest child, middle and youngest child. When talking about the lesson in class I began to see how I fit in, in all catogories. Due to the fact tha I lived with my steps sisters but not all of them I learn from them and I can say when they did not so smart things I was the mascot and laughed at them, but also I'am the hero to my mother because I am a good child a mother can ask for and her only true friend besides her husband. So due to my extended family I'am a Twisted Family Systems Theory.
I am the oldest of two so I have found myself playing all of the roles the hero, because i have to set a great example for my sister. The scapegoat, when my sister does something wrong or when we argue. The lost child, when i was n school n my sister was getting praised for getting 4.0's n I was jus getting a 3.5. Finally the maascot, when it seems everyone is down I try to pick their spirits up by joking around. This system helps you become a well rounded person to take the good and the bad
I am the oldest in my family, but I feel I often play all roles. I think that helps with interaction of the family, especially among siblings. I don't know what my siblings would say about their roles or mine. It would be curious to find out.
Avion, I never thought about extended roles in mixed families before! I also have step-siblings and a half brother. I am now more curiuos then ever about how my family thinks about this theory!
Well to me when we were talking about how in most families the child that is the oldest is always the one with the most responsibility? It seems like socity has made up the rule that the eldest child is more responsible and more capable of doing more than the others.I know where their are people who are my age and tghey are the eldest out of their siblings and they are terrible! they are irresponsible, disrespectful, and arrogant. So i beleive let them be their own person becuase someday everybody has to have responsibility.
Adavis8 I agree with you as well. their have plenty of times when I have had to playall of the roles of the siblings in my home. But you know what i beleive that if had I not done that, I would be the Tereze that I am now!
In my family there are 4 children amd from class monday i would be the scapegoat and i feel as if what was talked about in class is true. Some parts was a lil backwards because my oldest sister went off to college but she didnt finish she is back at home and my little sister gets away with alot and my brother is always the lostchild and he says certain things all the time that he could fit into the lost childs place. Courtney Carrol
Although I agree with the structure of placement within siblings and how they adapt.It is very different within my family.I am the youngest and i would be labled as "baby" that I am, but on the scale I would be the hero. Out of both of my sisters I have achevied the most. But their mistakes pushed me to become a better person and continue to do my best.
I agree that when one child messes up the responsbility or "title" goes to the next child. That is how my family is. There are 5 of us and I am second to last but I am the HERO. I am the only one between my two sisters and brothers that has actually acted on what I want. They have ALL messed up so far. My oldest brother went to college but didnt graduate and is now in prison, my older sister dropped out of high school her sophomore year, my older brother was in high school for 6 years, and my little sister barely passed to the next grade. I am the hero because my parents expect me to be a role model not only to my little sister, but to my older siblings as well. I didn't want to see my little sister fail so I decided to step up to the plate and be a role model for her. There is a lot of pressure on me because my parents brag about me all the time and my siblings are jealous of me because I do well in school and for what I have accomplished so far. So, I am in a lose lose situation. If I settle for less then I will be disappointing my parents and if I do my best my siblings become angry. Anybody can see how this can be stressful to me. My siblings and I really don't get along. They all get along with each other but they all gang up on me.
Avion...this is how my family is. We are all either step sisters, step brothers, half brothers, or half sisters. Although we do not get along at all, we do not like using the terms "step" or "half", it makes us seem distant and its funny because we actually are. I guess it is true what they say about family: we can talk about each other but when someone says something about one of us, no matter how much we dislike each other, we all stand up for each other =)
The discussion about the family system theory was on point for me. I am the oldest of five siblings. I have always been looked upon as the "Hero". Sometimes it is ok, but it seems to be more of a heavy burden to carry. Sometimes I believe that my family thinks that I am incapable of making any mistakes. Sometimes I just want to scream out..."I am human! I don't know everything!I am entitled to my share of mistakes!" The good part is that because of all the pressures of being the "Hero", I have made fairly good decisions in my life and my siblings appreciate me more for it. Now, however, I have be mindful of the roles I give to my own two daughters. I find myself sometimes putting a lot of pressure on my oldest daughter and letting my "baby" get by with a lot more. I want to encourage them both but not put any unneccesary pressures on either of them.
Honestly, in my family I do not feel as though my mother she treat me and my sisters any different. She definitely do not praise my older sister, and I am the middle child and I do not feel like I get in trouble all the time. Me and my mother is really close and she always told me that she do not want us to ever think that she would ever treat us different. She really goes by her word and do not treat us any different at all. My litte sister on the other hand do not actually get away with everything, but she do get away some things that my mother would not let me or my older sister get away with. My mother encourage all of us to want for the better things in life. I was the first to attend college out the three of us, but my mother never talked down on my other two sisters. She mentioned to my younger sister that whatever she choose to do she is okay with it just as long as it is positive. I truly agree with my mother and I feel like that is the way it should be.
honestly i like the discussion we had but i kinda disagree like i mentioned in class because of the fact that i am the youngest of five children i have never been consider the "baby" so let me get my way but at times in my family i have felt as though i have a harder role than everyone else because the mistakes that the older ones have made i have to pay for it because my grandmother dont want to make the same mistake with me so she tries to chasetise me harder than evryone so i go down the right path and i think it back fired because i just lash out more than doing the right thing. the only thing i feel ive done right in my life is graduated from high school and came to college.
jazzo, i understand where you are comming from becuase i am to indeed the youngest and in some way i wouldnt say feel like the hero but being the youngest besides my oldest sister who is in college out of all of my mother 3 other kids excluding me i am the only one doing something positive with my life so where does that leave me as the mascot being the youngest or the hero right along with my sister for actually being the role model to my other older siblings for going to college??????
I always hated being the oldest,It was too much responsibility of taking care of your brothers and sisters when you were just a kid. I never had a dad or mom, yet I had an aunt who struggled and always looked as me as the man of the house. Becoming head honcho of your family is alot when your not an adult.
CANDI NICOLE--I too know how it felt to be the one who shouldn't be making mistakes,it was one day that my sibs found out that I was just like them at making mistakes. That day me and my sister , who always fought, became closer.
Jazzo and Courtney I do agree when it comes to the roles of the sibiling because i have cousins taht I grew up with and I have to say the baby was the mascot, the middle child was the lost child,but the oldest was the scapegoat. Now when one of the sibilings messed up then more pressure was put on the other child to become the hero. Nevertheless none of them became the hero but the all became comfortable in the other roles that they play.
the way it is my older brother is like the black sheep he do his on thing.. then its my sis and she want to be the baby of us all get it her way... then its me the son that dont real say to much just do my own thing its just me myself and i and its the baby boy that do bad things and still get it his way....
i know how you feel about being the oldest. There is a lot of pressure and not many rewards, but I found I was better adjusted to being on my own when I "fled the nest". I don't know if now that all of my siblings are out in the world on their own as well if the same structure applies though.
It seems that most agree that the oldest child usually has the most responsibility. Its like society expects more of them. They're expected to be the role models and I've noticed depending on their age, their the baby-sitters, the cooks, the "watchers" at school...basically they are expected to take on a secondary parental role. I feel that is unfair because they don't really get a chance to enjoy their own childhood.
I'm also an only child so I dont know what would describe my place or personality in reference to the skit or what was talked about. however I feel that what was talked about is somewhat of a general stereotype but its mostly true from what I can tell by being around different siblings.
Stooks I agree with you that being the "man" of the house is a big responsibility when your not of age. I was raised in a household where I had a lot of responsibility that no man ever prepared me for because my father wasnt around. So a lot of things I've learned about being a man, or person in general, I learned from a woman or from trial and error as oppose to learning from a male figure.
i have one brother who is just one year younger than me, so i was the hero out of us two. i had to set a good example for him. he was the scapegoat, but we didnt each just have one role. because it was two of us we had to play various roles throughout our childhood.
i agree with you journey, being the oldest of the family everyone does expect more out of you than the others. It puts alot of pressure on you to do well because your the ace, the one that all eyes are on.
I believe this theory my be tru in most cases or sometimes. Some of the roles may sometimes be out of order. I only have one sibling, which is my older brother.
FOr the most part I believe this theory to be true. The only thing is that when there are less children then they tend to play more than one role and in alot of the families the roles continue to switch as different situations arise.
Nesha and Stookes- My whole life i always had to pay for the mistakes that my sister made those which in alot of ways have held me back. Im the one who is known to not get in trouble for nothin to bad but when my older sister started finding out about some things that i have done like Stookes and his sister we also got closer.
Dr.Greenfield my comments to the family system theroy may work along the lines discussed today for some families but not mine. I come from a family of four and I'm the "baby" but I feel like the oldest. My father always tells me,"I don't worry about you as much as I do the others cause you are so indepentent." On the other hand I fill as though I'm over looked alot because of the way he feels. Maybe thats why have have that tough skin because I carry alot of other people weight and sometimes I need a listening ear or maybe advise.
ReplyDeleteI'm an only child, so I'm not quite sure where I fit in on the Family Systems Theory. I feel like I've been each type in some ways. I compared the theory to each of my parents and their siblings and found it amazingly accurate.
ReplyDeleteAs far as the family systems theory I am also an only child like Journey however I have three oloder step sisters due the fact that my mother is remarried and I have three younger half sisters on my fathers side. So you can say that I am the oldest child, middle and youngest child. When talking about the lesson in class I began to see how I fit in, in all catogories. Due to the fact tha I lived with my steps sisters but not all of them I learn from them and I can say when they did not so smart things I was the mascot and laughed at them, but also I'am the hero to my mother because I am a good child a mother can ask for and her only true friend besides her husband. So due to my extended family I'am a Twisted Family Systems Theory.
ReplyDeleteI am the oldest of two so I have found myself playing all of the roles the hero, because i have to set a great example for my sister. The scapegoat, when my sister does something wrong or when we argue. The lost child, when i was n school n my sister was getting praised for getting 4.0's n I was jus getting a 3.5. Finally the maascot, when it seems everyone is down I try to pick their spirits up by joking around. This system helps you become a well rounded person to take the good and the bad
ReplyDeleteI am the oldest in my family, but I feel I often play all roles. I think that helps with interaction of the family, especially among siblings. I don't know what my siblings would say about their roles or mine. It would be curious to find out.
ReplyDeleteAvion, I never thought about extended roles in mixed families before! I also have step-siblings and a half brother. I am now more curiuos then ever about how my family thinks about this theory!
ReplyDeleteWell to me when we were talking about how in most families the child that is the oldest is always the one with the most responsibility? It seems like socity has made up the rule that the eldest child is more responsible and more capable of doing more than the others.I know where their are people who are my age and tghey are the eldest out of their siblings and they are terrible! they are irresponsible, disrespectful, and arrogant. So i beleive let them be their own person becuase someday everybody has to have responsibility.
ReplyDeleteAdavis8 I agree with you as well. their have plenty of times when I have had to playall of the roles of the siblings in my home. But you know what i beleive that if had I not done that, I would be the Tereze that I am now!
ReplyDeleteIn my family there are 4 children amd from class monday i would be the scapegoat and i feel as if what was talked about in class is true. Some parts was a lil backwards because my oldest sister went off to college but she didnt finish she is back at home and my little sister gets away with alot and my brother is always the lostchild and he says certain things all the time that he could fit into the lost childs place. Courtney Carrol
ReplyDeleteAlthough I agree with the structure of placement within siblings and how they adapt.It is very different within my family.I am the youngest and i would be labled as "baby" that I am, but on the scale I would be the hero. Out of both of my sisters I have achevied the most. But their mistakes pushed me to become a better person and continue to do my best.
ReplyDeleteI agree that when one child messes up the responsbility or "title" goes to the next child. That is how my family is. There are 5 of us and I am second to last but I am the HERO. I am the only one between my two sisters and brothers that has actually acted on what I want. They have ALL messed up so far. My oldest brother went to college but didnt graduate and is now in prison, my older sister dropped out of high school her sophomore year, my older brother was in high school for 6 years, and my little sister barely passed to the next grade. I am the hero because my parents expect me to be a role model not only to my little sister, but to my older siblings as well. I didn't want to see my little sister fail so I decided to step up to the plate and be a role model for her. There is a lot of pressure on me because my parents brag about me all the time and my siblings are jealous of me because I do well in school and for what I have accomplished so far. So, I am in a lose lose situation. If I settle for less then I will be disappointing my parents and if I do my best my siblings become angry. Anybody can see how this can be stressful to me. My siblings and I really don't get along. They all get along with each other but they all gang up on me.
ReplyDeleteAvion...this is how my family is. We are all either step sisters, step brothers, half brothers, or half sisters. Although we do not get along at all, we do not like using the terms "step" or "half", it makes us seem distant and its funny because we actually are. I guess it is true what they say about family: we can talk about each other but when someone says something about one of us, no matter how much we dislike each other, we all stand up for each other =)
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThe discussion about the family system theory was on point for me. I am the oldest of five siblings. I have always been looked upon as the "Hero". Sometimes it is ok, but it seems to be more of a heavy burden to carry. Sometimes I believe that my family thinks that I am incapable of making any mistakes. Sometimes I just want to scream out..."I am human! I don't know everything!I am entitled to my share of mistakes!" The good part is that because of all the pressures of being the "Hero", I have made fairly good decisions in my life and my siblings appreciate me more for it. Now, however, I have be mindful of the roles I give to my own two daughters. I find myself sometimes putting a lot of pressure on my oldest daughter and letting my "baby" get by with a lot more. I want to encourage them both but not put any unneccesary pressures on either of them.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, in my family I do not feel as though my mother she treat me and my sisters any different. She definitely do not praise my older sister, and I am the middle child and I do not feel like I get in trouble all the time. Me and my mother is really close and she always told me that she do not want us to ever think that she would ever treat us different. She really goes by her word and do not treat us any different at all. My litte sister on the other hand do not actually get away with everything, but she do get away some things that my mother would not let me or my older sister get away with. My mother encourage all of us to want for the better things in life. I was the first to attend college out the three of us, but my mother never talked down on my other two sisters. She mentioned to my younger sister that whatever she choose to do she is okay with it just as long as it is positive. I truly agree with my mother and I feel like that is the way it should be.
ReplyDeletehonestly i like the discussion we had but i kinda disagree like i mentioned in class because of the fact that i am the youngest of five children i have never been consider the "baby" so let me get my way but at times in my family i have felt as though i have a harder role than everyone else because the mistakes that the older ones have made i have to pay for it because my grandmother dont want to make the same mistake with me so she tries to chasetise me harder than evryone so i go down the right path and i think it back fired because i just lash out more than doing the right thing. the only thing i feel ive done right in my life is graduated from high school and came to college.
ReplyDeletejazzo, i understand where you are comming from becuase i am to indeed the youngest and in some way i wouldnt say feel like the hero but being the youngest besides my oldest sister who is in college out of all of my mother 3 other kids excluding me i am the only one doing something positive with my life so where does that leave me as the mascot being the youngest or the hero right along with my sister for actually being the role model to my other older siblings for going to college??????
ReplyDeleteI always hated being the oldest,It was too much responsibility of taking care of your brothers and sisters when you were just a kid. I never had a dad or mom, yet I had an aunt who struggled and always looked as me as the man of the house. Becoming head honcho of your family is alot when your not an adult.
ReplyDeleteCANDI NICOLE--I too know how it felt to be the one who shouldn't be making mistakes,it was one day that my sibs found out that I was just like them at making mistakes. That day me and my sister , who always fought, became closer.
ReplyDeleteJazzo and Courtney I do agree when it comes to the roles of the sibiling because i have cousins taht I grew up with and I have to say the baby was the mascot, the middle child was the lost child,but the oldest was the scapegoat. Now when one of the sibilings messed up then more pressure was put on the other child to become the hero. Nevertheless none of them became the hero but the all became comfortable in the other roles that they play.
ReplyDeletethe way it is my older brother is like the black sheep he do his on thing.. then its my sis and she want to be the baby of us all get it her way... then its me the son that dont real say to much just do my own thing its just me myself and i and its the baby boy that do bad things and still get it his way....
ReplyDeleteStookes and Candace-
ReplyDeletei know how you feel about being the oldest. There is a lot of pressure and not many rewards, but I found I was better adjusted to being on my own when I "fled the nest". I don't know if now that all of my siblings are out in the world on their own as well if the same structure applies though.
It seems that most agree that the oldest child usually has the most responsibility. Its like society expects more of them. They're expected to be the role models and I've noticed depending on their age, their the baby-sitters, the cooks, the "watchers" at school...basically they are expected to take on a secondary parental role. I feel that is unfair because they don't really get a chance to enjoy their own childhood.
ReplyDeleteI'm also an only child so I dont know what would describe my place or personality in reference to the skit or what was talked about. however I feel that what was talked about is somewhat of a general stereotype but its mostly true from what I can tell by being around different siblings.
ReplyDeleteStooks I agree with you that being the "man" of the house is a big responsibility when your not of age. I was raised in a household where I had a lot of responsibility that no man ever prepared me for because my father wasnt around. So a lot of things I've learned about being a man, or person in general, I learned from a woman or from trial and error as oppose to learning from a male figure.
ReplyDeletei have one brother who is just one year younger than me, so i was the hero out of us two. i had to set a good example for him. he was the scapegoat, but we didnt each just have one role. because it was two of us we had to play various roles throughout our childhood.
ReplyDeletei agree with you journey, being the oldest of the family everyone does expect more out of you than the others. It puts alot of pressure on you to do well because your the ace, the one that all eyes are on.
ReplyDeleteI believe this theory my be tru in most cases or sometimes. Some of the roles may sometimes be out of order. I only have one sibling, which is my older brother.
ReplyDeleteFOr the most part I believe this theory to be true. The only thing is that when there are less children then they tend to play more than one role and in alot of the families the roles continue to switch as different situations arise.
ReplyDeleteNesha and Stookes- My whole life i always had to pay for the mistakes that my sister made those which in alot of ways have held me back. Im the one who is known to not get in trouble for nothin to bad but when my older sister started finding out about some things that i have done like Stookes and his sister we also got closer.
ReplyDelete