Let's continue the class discussion about forgiveness. Please share your thoughts on the concept of forgiveness and/or comments about your own need to forgive yourself or others.
I know that forgiveness is the most important thing I can do. i t is also the hardest. I have held grudges for years for percieved trangressions against me. It bothers me that i am like this, and I feel hypocritical when I ask forgivesness of others. These grudges turn into general hatred of that person or anything associated with them. I know its not healthy and I can feel it eating me up inside as the anger swells. I would love to learn to forgive, but I don't know how.
Mark 11:25 And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your father in heaven may forgive you your sins. I know that its hard to forgive, we have to remember that Jesus forgave us for torturing him, so we must forgive each other. It will eat you up inside if you dont.
In the old saying they said that the road will never be easy or maybe that was a song but in reality it is true. Forgiveness is apart of the road in your life and no one said that it is easy it's your road block and you yourself must learn how to jump over your battles and be able to walk towards your glory in life. When you can forgive someone you lift alot of weight off of yourself and your capable to breathe again fresh air. Your life is supposed to lived for you and not anyone else. It's up to you if you want to hinder it or not by not forgiving.
Personally it's always been hard for me to forgive someone. Not saying i hold gruges but its just hard for me to let stuff go. Im not saying im mean about whatever may happen but its like i dont forget and it stays on my mind. At the same time its only bothering me and it may not be bothering who ever else may be in the situation and at times i know i should let it go and forgive not for them but for me in order for me to move on.Right now im in the stage of learning to forgive and knowing that its is nothing wrong with not forgetting. In order for someone to move on you have to forgive and thats a problem i always have. To forgive yourself and others is kind of tough but in order to forgive others you may have to take that step of forgiving yourself then learning how to deal with forgiving others. Courtney Carroll
I think that being able to forgive someone is one of the best things you could ever do. Although, that is something very hard for me to do. Being brought up the way I have I have always learned that it is important to forgive someone if you want to move on in life. When you don't forgive people you miss out on a lot of things in life,and I do not want to be the one that missed out. I strongly think that being able to forgive people makes you stronger. Reason being once you go through any situation in life it makes you stay alert and makes you pay attention on how people are in life. Still the fact remain the same that I have been through it so I will definitely say that I forgive, but do not forget.
To me the ability to forgive have never been a problem its the forget part that will always prevent people from moving forward. The reason why this is, is because there will always be something to remind you of that situation that you have gone through. Its a catch 22 situation for forgetting because if you don't forget you run the chance of it taking control over your social life as far as trusting people but if you do forget you run the risk of going throught the situation all over again.
Although forgiveness is very difficult in some cases I believe that it is important to do. Holding on to hurtful memories only henders a person in the end. It becomes difficult to move on or ask someone else for forgiveness.Holding on is a waste of energy.
mr. greenfield im just going to say the same thing i said in class because that is how i feel. once again i think that everyone is able to forgive people no matter how big or how small the problem is everyone can forgive people. it has been times where i didnt want to forgive someone and that goes for people that have done me wrong in my life and also family members. i feel like you have to forgive to forget and like i said in class ive had to forgive people to close that chapter in my life and when i forgave those people i felt like i did it for myself to help me heal and start a new chapter. so i think everyone needs that closure and that chapter close in there life so they can see beyond the wildess things and start a new life.
I always hear people say that you should "Forgive and Forget". I have always struggled with that saying. I believe that at some point in our lives we all must learn to forgive in order for us to move ahead. Although it is not always easy, when you choose not to forgive, you then have given the person(s) that did the hurt power over you. I tend to look at not forgiving someone as carrying extra baggage. Can you imagine how much faster and easier you can travel the road of success and happiness when you don't have extra unneccesary baggage weighing you down?! Forgetting to me is a different story. Although I don't think that you should continue to dwell on the hurt you felt (if you have indeed forgiven that person), but you should use it to your advantage. What I mean by "advantage" is looking at yourself as a "survivor" of that situation. That can be a constant reminder that 'I have gone through this, been able to overcome this, and the next time I will be more careful'. Remember forgiveness is not for the other person, it is for you....
In response to Courtney: Forgiveness is a process especially when somone you trusted and/or loved has hurt you. However, I am very glad to see that you have come to a point in your life that you are willing to admit that you have a problem with forgiving. It also does my heart good to know that you are willing to step out on faith and give forgiveness a try. When you forgive and let go of those past hurts, you will see how much easier it is to make it through this journey of life.
Forgiving someone is a very hard thing to do. We don't realize how much holding grudges against people hurt ourselves more than it hurts that person. I have had many experiences with this situation. For example, I was friends with a girl for 7 years. We attended East Carolina together and I don't even remember the situation but somehow I couldn't stand being around her. Everytime she saw me she rolled her eyes and when I saw her I simply ignored her. It was like we didnt even know each other. One day this past summer I saw her and I started to turn my head and act like I didn't see her but instead I said hey and she stopped and we had a 10 min. conversation. It made me feel good because I felt like I made her day by speaking. When I spoke to her, her eyes widened and she had a huge smile on her face. When someone is able to forgive, it shows that they are much better than the person who hurt him/her. Holding a grudge makes that person just as wrong as the other person. So, in a nutshell, forgiveness allows us become better individuals and it also rids some stress in our lives.
Forgive/forget.....to forgive someone has been a hard process for me in life because I never forget. I'm one of those people that if you burn your bridges with me it's hard to cross back over. As I have gotten older it's something I'm constantly working on but it's not easy. Depending on the situation I do hold gruges because I dislike the fact off anyone thinking they are getting over on me cause I dare not do that to anyone. I know that forgiveness plays a big part in our life in order to take that next step. That's why I'm willing to make that improvement in my life because I want to continue to make progress.
Forgiveness is often overlooked or an absolute last resort. Most people vbiew it as a sign of waekness, when in fact its the complete opposite. Forgiveness helps you to free up your mind and detach from your emotions. The anger or animosity you may have towards a particular person or situation can be loosed.
Before I came to Shaw there were many things going on in my family. Poeple that I thought would would always be ther eto support me turned thier backs on me. I struggled through the school year and even more through the summer but GOD brought me through. So as I departed my home to come here I wanted nothin holding me back. The only thing that seemed to bring closure and free my mind was to forgive those family members. My mind is at peace, and I'm ready for new beginings.
I believe that we should all learn to forgive no matter what the situation. Nobody is perfect and we all wrong somebody somewhere in life, even if we feel that we did not because if someone;s is that they've been wronged then thats their reality. We would want that person(s), especially if we value them, to forgive us for our wrongs, so it would be hyprocritical not to forgive someone else. Additionally if we hold grudges and refuse to forgive, it may hurt us more than it could help. That could led to anger, which causes stress, that a factor of high blood pressure, which triggers numerous health risk, so in a sense holding that anger toward someone inside and not truly forgiving and letting it go is indirect suicide.
i really dont know if i could forgive someone but it will have to depend on wat they did to me... i know this one time when i was in the 9th or 10th some of my homeboyz had snitch on me... cuz i was selling and had set me up and told this girl in the hood that i was playing her... i want to have them taking care of but my poeple said dont worry about it... some how i find away to 4give them but i dont F with them no more...
I am generally a very forgiving person. I have done many things that I have sought forgiveness for so I feel its only fair to also forgive those who have wronged me. However, a recent situation has caused me so much hurt and put my life in such distress that I have become very bitter and unable to forgive. Because of this, my anger has exacerbated to a point where I am just full of hatred. I agree with Avion in saying that you only hinder yourself by not forgiving, but its not always an easy task.
Dr. Greenfield... im not a very forgiving person. In the past i have been hurt and have alot of personal scars, and for that i dont forgive easy. I think some may find it easier to forgive, Im just not that type person. and to me it depends on the situation also when i was younger a situation happend, and now i have issues trusting guys. and its hard for me to believe what they have to say because of that certain situation. i think it all depends on the person and how forgiving you are. another thing is i know how they say forgive and forget. but i think its stupid to forget cuz thats leaving your heart open to get hurt all over again. so i never forget and yea thats how i feel about the whole forgiveness thing..
forgiving is not something hard to do at all. you can forgive someone for anything its the only way you will truly move on with your life. when ti all said and done and we leave this world does those grudges really matter then? I don't believe they will so i would rather not sit here and waste my time holding actions against a person instead of living my life and enjoying it.
I agree dthauser. When you're able to forgive it makes you feel different, almost like it relieves something within. Holding grudges only makes you bitter. It takes alot more to be mad then it does to be happy.
Raymond I do understand what you are talking about in regards to grudges and that we don't live long so why waste time. I have to on the other hand have to disagree on the fact that it is hard to forgive someone. It is a battle, trial and tribulation in life to forgive someone. It depends on the circumstances of why someone is forgiven. If your best friend shot your mother. Can you jus forgive them that simple? Or if Your boss was purposely down grading you, could you jus say ok? It's due to forgiveness that we survive other battle in life.
Well forgiveness is a hard thing to do. especially when you have been in an traumatic experence such rape, molestation, or even mental abuse. i think that people have the right to be mad. Im sure no-one! butr what we have to understand that is if we never forgive we will always be knocked back to our past when we try to move on with our lives in the future. becuse you will always dwell among that one thing that yo have never let go of. Just tghink about all the blessings and the possibilities that we have missed and passsed uyp becuase we have not forgiven what someone has once done to us.
Sammaragreen Im going to have to disagree with you abut your blog. Becuase it seems that you are still dwelling among the past for what has happened. By you not forgiving and still holding on to that hurt you have when its time for you to really give your all and heart to someone you will struggle. The reason why i say that is you want have an successcful relationship becuse you would have your guard up and when you may think that your getting closer in the relationship you will actually be pushing them away.
I would never forgive people for what they have done for me, Especially my family members. The hurt that they had given mel eft me scarred. I dont like the forgiving people stuff. I say it is for people who want to lose.Lose the fight of winning. Yes that is stubburness but I believe that you should be able to win, being the bigger man is just giving up. And how could you forgive when you will always remember what that person did, that is just a waste of time and a reason to have never had forgave.
I took everyones advice. I attempted to forgive this weekend. I called an old friend. They didn't answer. I left a message saying we need to talk. That perhaps their is something we can do to rekindle a lost friendship. As I was leaving the message I thought that maybe their is something that maybe I need forgiveness for from this person also. I haven't heard back, but I feel good about taking the first step.
Stookes- I often find myself with the same feelings on forgiveness. Maybe this is why the cycle of hatred continues through eternity. I want to learn to forgive to stop the cycle, but it is so hard!
sammaragreen........I don't forgive easily but,what I have learned is sometimes we can't see the good things coming our way cause we always looking for the bad. The older I get the more I understand how to take little steps towards forgiveness. We must find it in our hearts even when we don't want to if we want to grow professionally and spiritally. If we continue to hold on to the negative there will be no postitive outcome.
Phoenix09- That kinda is true, but I beleieve a cycle of hate will always be there. You can say you dont hate but one day it will show without you noticing.
tkeller1009, i wouldnt say "dwelling" i look at it more like protecting myself from being hurt again that way I WILL NEVER want that to happen to me agin. I must agree with you on the part where u said when its time for me to give my heart i will struggle, but i mean how do i know WH0 to trust?...i feel we must Forgive but NEVER forget i must keep mental note so that im not vulnerable for the same thing to happen again..
trinette, i understand you and where u are coming from..its a work in pregress for the both of us..
i would forgive others for what they have done. i think everyone you should have and 2nd chance to try to make things right that didnt go well the first time.you should forgive but nerver forget what that person has done to you.
for what black said, i think that you should forgive someone because that is what the good book says. if you are a firm believer you should forgive anyone that does anything to you wrong. it will def be hard but you can do it. just remember that you are forgiving that person for you and not them.
Forgiveness helps the individual person to become better with themselves, to forgive the person or let it off their heart that you hurt me, but I must overcome this by forgiving you. Not letting myself to forget it but forgiving the person.
To fogive someone is like a sigh of relief and a way to alleviate any stress thats being caused. It's also an easy way of talking it out with that person who made you feel some type of way and making them realize that what they have done has really put a damper on the friendship. I say try to forgive and never forget because a way of starting a new chapter in life.
I know that forgiveness is the most important thing I can do. i t is also the hardest. I have held grudges for years for percieved trangressions against me. It bothers me that i am like this, and I feel hypocritical when I ask forgivesness of others. These grudges turn into general hatred of that person or anything associated with them. I know its not healthy and I can feel it eating me up inside as the anger swells. I would love to learn to forgive, but I don't know how.
ReplyDeleteMark 11:25 And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your father in heaven may forgive you your sins. I know that its hard to forgive, we have to remember that Jesus forgave us for torturing him, so we must forgive each other. It will eat you up inside if you dont.
ReplyDeleteIn the old saying they said that the road will never be easy or maybe that was a song but in reality it is true. Forgiveness is apart of the road in your life and no one said that it is easy it's your road block and you yourself must learn how to jump over your battles and be able to walk towards your glory in life. When you can forgive someone you lift alot of weight off of yourself and your capable to breathe again fresh air. Your life is supposed to lived for you and not anyone else. It's up to you if you want to hinder it or not by not forgiving.
ReplyDeletePersonally it's always been hard for me to forgive someone. Not saying i hold gruges but its just hard for me to let stuff go. Im not saying im mean about whatever may happen but its like i dont forget and it stays on my mind. At the same time its only bothering me and it may not be bothering who ever else may be in the situation and at times i know i should let it go and forgive not for them but for me in order for me to move on.Right now im in the stage of learning to forgive and knowing that its is nothing wrong with not forgetting. In order for someone to move on you have to forgive and thats a problem i always have. To forgive yourself and others is kind of tough but in order to forgive others you may have to take that step of forgiving yourself then learning how to deal with forgiving others.
ReplyDeleteCourtney Carroll
I think that being able to forgive someone is one of the best things you could ever do. Although, that is something very hard for me to do. Being brought up the way I have I have always learned that it is important to forgive someone if you want to move on in life. When you don't forgive people you miss out on a lot of things in life,and I do not want to be the one that missed out. I strongly think that being able to forgive people makes you stronger. Reason being once you go through any situation in life it makes you stay alert and makes you pay attention on how people are in life. Still the fact remain the same that I have been through it so I will definitely say that I forgive, but do not forget.
ReplyDeleteTerha Lennon
To me the ability to forgive have never been a problem its the forget part that will always prevent people from moving forward. The reason why this is, is because there will always be something to remind you of that situation that you have gone through. Its a catch 22 situation for forgetting because if you don't forget you run the chance of it taking control over your social life as far as trusting people but if you do forget you run the risk of going throught the situation all over again.
ReplyDeleteAlthough forgiveness is very difficult in some cases I believe that it is important to do. Holding on to hurtful memories only henders a person in the end. It becomes difficult to move on or ask someone else for forgiveness.Holding on is a waste of energy.
ReplyDeletemr. greenfield im just going to say the same thing i said in class because that is how i feel. once again i think that everyone is able to forgive people no matter how big or how small the problem is everyone can forgive people. it has been times where i didnt want to forgive someone and that goes for people that have done me wrong in my life and also family members. i feel like you have to forgive to forget and like i said in class ive had to forgive people to close that chapter in my life and when i forgave those people i felt like i did it for myself to help me heal and start a new chapter. so i think everyone needs that closure and that chapter close in there life so they can see beyond the wildess things and start a new life.
ReplyDeleteI always hear people say that you should "Forgive and Forget". I have always struggled with that saying. I believe that at some point in our lives we all must learn to forgive in order for us to move ahead. Although it is not always easy, when you choose not to forgive, you then have given the person(s) that did the hurt power over you. I tend to look at not forgiving someone as carrying extra baggage. Can you imagine how much faster and easier you can travel the road of success and happiness when you don't have extra unneccesary baggage weighing you down?!
ReplyDeleteForgetting to me is a different story. Although I don't think that you should continue to dwell on the hurt you felt (if you have indeed forgiven that person), but you should use it to your advantage. What I mean by "advantage" is looking at yourself as a "survivor" of that situation. That can be a constant reminder that 'I have gone through this, been able to overcome this, and the next time I will be more careful'. Remember forgiveness is not for the other person, it is for you....
In response to Courtney:
ReplyDeleteForgiveness is a process especially when somone you trusted and/or loved has hurt you. However, I am very glad to see that you have come to a point in your life that you are willing to admit that you have a problem with forgiving. It also does my heart good to know that you are willing to step out on faith and give forgiveness a try. When you forgive and let go of those past hurts, you will see how much easier it is to make it through this journey of life.
Forgiving someone is a very hard thing to do. We don't realize how much holding grudges against people hurt ourselves more than it hurts that person. I have had many experiences with this situation. For example, I was friends with a girl for 7 years. We attended East Carolina together and I don't even remember the situation but somehow I couldn't stand being around her. Everytime she saw me she rolled her eyes and when I saw her I simply ignored her. It was like we didnt even know each other. One day this past summer I saw her and I started to turn my head and act like I didn't see her but instead I said hey and she stopped and we had a 10 min. conversation. It made me feel good because I felt like I made her day by speaking. When I spoke to her, her eyes widened and she had a huge smile on her face. When someone is able to forgive, it shows that they are much better than the person who hurt him/her. Holding a grudge makes that person just as wrong as the other person. So, in a nutshell, forgiveness allows us become better individuals and it also rids some stress in our lives.
ReplyDeleteForgive/forget.....to forgive someone has been a hard process for me in life because I never forget. I'm one of those people that if you burn your bridges with me it's hard to cross back over. As I have gotten older it's something I'm constantly working on but it's not easy. Depending on the situation I do hold gruges because I dislike the fact off anyone thinking they are getting over on me cause I dare not do that to anyone. I know that forgiveness plays a big part in our life in order to take that next step. That's why I'm willing to make that improvement in my life because I want to continue to make progress.
ReplyDeleteForgiveness is often overlooked or an absolute last resort. Most people vbiew it as a sign of waekness, when in fact its the complete opposite. Forgiveness helps you to free up your mind and detach from your emotions. The anger or animosity you may have towards a particular person or situation can be loosed.
ReplyDeleteBefore I came to Shaw there were many things going on in my family. Poeple that I thought would would always be ther eto support me turned thier backs on me. I struggled through the school year and even more through the summer but GOD brought me through. So as I departed my home to come here I wanted nothin holding me back. The only thing that seemed to bring closure and free my mind was to forgive those family members. My mind is at peace, and I'm ready for new beginings.
I believe that we should all learn to forgive no matter what the situation. Nobody is perfect and we all wrong somebody somewhere in life, even if we feel that we did not because if someone;s is that they've been wronged then thats their reality. We would want that person(s), especially if we value them, to forgive us for our wrongs, so it would be hyprocritical not to forgive someone else. Additionally if we hold grudges and refuse to forgive, it may hurt us more than it could help. That could led to anger, which causes stress, that a factor of high blood pressure, which triggers numerous health risk, so in a sense holding that anger toward someone inside and not truly forgiving and letting it go is indirect suicide.
ReplyDeletei really dont know if i could forgive someone but it will have to depend on wat they did to me... i know this one time when i was in the 9th or 10th some of my homeboyz had snitch on me... cuz i was selling and had set me up and told this girl in the hood that i was playing her... i want to have them taking care of but my poeple said dont worry about it... some how i find away to 4give them but i dont F with them no more...
ReplyDeleteI am generally a very forgiving person. I have done many things that I have sought forgiveness for so I feel its only fair to also forgive those who have wronged me. However, a recent situation has caused me so much hurt and put my life in such distress that I have become very bitter and unable to forgive. Because of this, my anger has exacerbated to a point where I am just full of hatred. I agree with Avion in saying that you only hinder yourself by not forgiving, but its not always an easy task.
ReplyDeleteDr. Greenfield... im not a very forgiving person. In the past i have been hurt and have alot of personal scars, and for that i dont forgive easy. I think some may find it easier to forgive, Im just not that type person. and to me it depends on the situation also when i was younger a situation happend, and now i have issues trusting guys. and its hard for me to believe what they have to say because of that certain situation. i think it all depends on the person and how forgiving you are. another thing is i know how they say forgive and forget. but i think its stupid to forget cuz thats leaving your heart open to get hurt all over again. so i never forget and yea thats how i feel about the whole forgiveness thing..
ReplyDeleteforgiving is not something hard to do at all. you can forgive someone for anything its the only way you will truly move on with your life. when ti all said and done and we leave this world does those grudges really matter then? I don't believe they will so i would rather not sit here and waste my time holding actions against a person instead of living my life and enjoying it.
ReplyDeleteI agree dthauser. When you're able to forgive it makes you feel different, almost like it relieves something within. Holding grudges only makes you bitter. It takes alot more to be mad then it does to be happy.
ReplyDeleteRaymond I do understand what you are talking about in regards to grudges and that we don't live long so why waste time. I have to on the other hand have to disagree on the fact that it is hard to forgive someone. It is a battle, trial and tribulation in life to forgive someone. It depends on the circumstances of why someone is forgiven. If your best friend shot your mother. Can you jus forgive them that simple? Or if Your boss was purposely down grading you, could you jus say ok? It's due to forgiveness that we survive other battle in life.
ReplyDeleteWell forgiveness is a hard thing to do. especially when you have been in an traumatic experence such rape, molestation, or even mental abuse. i think that people have the right to be mad. Im sure no-one! butr what we have to understand that is if we never forgive we will always be knocked back to our past when we try to move on with our lives in the future. becuse you will always dwell among that one thing that yo have never let go of. Just tghink about all the blessings and the possibilities that we have missed and passsed uyp becuase we have not forgiven what someone has once done to us.
ReplyDeleteSammaragreen Im going to have to disagree with you abut your blog. Becuase it seems that you are still dwelling among the past for what has happened. By you not forgiving and still holding on to that hurt you have when its time for you to really give your all and heart to someone you will struggle. The reason why i say that is you want have an successcful relationship becuse you would have your guard up and when you may think that your getting closer in the relationship you will actually be pushing them away.
ReplyDeleteI would never forgive people for what they have done for me, Especially my family members. The hurt that they had given mel eft me scarred. I dont like the forgiving people stuff. I say it is for people who want to lose.Lose the fight of winning. Yes that is stubburness but I believe that you should be able to win, being the bigger man is just giving up. And how could you forgive when you will always remember what that person did, that is just a waste of time and a reason to have never had forgave.
ReplyDeleteI took everyones advice. I attempted to forgive this weekend. I called an old friend. They didn't answer. I left a message saying we need to talk. That perhaps their is something we can do to rekindle a lost friendship. As I was leaving the message I thought that maybe their is something that maybe I need forgiveness for from this person also. I haven't heard back, but I feel good about taking the first step.
ReplyDeleteStookes- I often find myself with the same feelings on forgiveness. Maybe this is why the cycle of hatred continues through eternity. I want to learn to forgive to stop the cycle, but it is so hard!
ReplyDeletesammaragreen........I don't forgive easily but,what I have learned is sometimes we can't see the good things coming our way cause we always looking for the bad. The older I get the more I understand how to take little steps towards forgiveness. We must find it in our hearts even when we don't want to if we want to grow professionally and spiritally. If we continue to hold on to the negative there will be no postitive outcome.
ReplyDeletePhoenix09- That kinda is true, but I beleieve a cycle of hate will always be there. You can say you dont hate but one day it will show without you noticing.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletetkeller1009, i wouldnt say "dwelling" i look at it more like protecting myself from being hurt again that way I WILL NEVER want that to happen to me agin. I must agree with you on the part where u said when its time for me to give my heart i will struggle, but i mean how do i know WH0 to trust?...i feel we must Forgive but NEVER forget i must keep mental note so that im not vulnerable for the same thing to happen again..
ReplyDeletetrinette, i understand you and where u are coming from..its a work in pregress for the both of us..
i would forgive others for what they have done. i think everyone you should have and 2nd chance to try to make things right that didnt go well the first time.you should forgive but nerver forget what that person has done to you.
ReplyDeletefor what black said, i think that you should forgive someone because that is what the good book says. if you are a firm believer you should forgive anyone that does anything to you wrong. it will def be hard but you can do it. just remember that you are forgiving that person for you and not them.
ReplyDeleteForgiveness helps the individual person to become better with themselves, to forgive the person or let it off their heart that you hurt me, but I must overcome this by forgiving you. Not letting myself to forget it but forgiving the person.
ReplyDeleteTo fogive someone is like a sigh of relief and a way to alleviate any stress thats being caused. It's also an easy way of talking it out with that person who made you feel some type of way and making them realize that what they have done has really put a damper on the friendship. I say try to forgive and never forget because a way of starting a new chapter in life.
ReplyDelete